Court TV

The realm of reality television has hit a slide ever since the popularity of CBS's "Survivor." During the before-Survivor era there were such shows as Road Rules (minus the gender/sexual tension based challenges), Cops, Sightings, Rescue 911, Unsolved Mysteries, etc. Since Survivor, every reality based show is a slight change in the cookie-cutter forumla of framing everything as though a challenge to "survive." Bachelor? Well good luck with that first impression in a pointless effort to miss the first round of cuts as if you really are THAT interested in her. Harvard MBA? Good luck dealing with other, worse prima donas. A reckless billionaire who wants to get in on the action during the basketball off-season? Welcome aboard. A rebel billionaire who has just returned from another attempt at setting the world record in hot air ice skating and doesn't want to miss out on a good trend? There's also a place for you. And we can't leave the worm-eaters, angry college students who have no idea how privileged they are, and LAWYERS away from the dinner table.

That's right, lawyers. The latest addition to this crap is FOX's "The Partner." In case you're wondering how this might be different from the Apprentice, well here it is.

1) There are two teams of lawyers
2) One team consists of "polished ivy league graduates." The other, graduates from "lesser pedigrees."
3) "They will argue real cases ripped straight from the headlines."
4) "And each weak one member will be kicked off the team."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! There aren't enough screams in the world for this one.

Why must the network that broght us The Simpsons, Married with Children, Melrose Place, Models, Inc., In Living Color, Family Guy, X-Files, Wildest Police Chases 1-589, among others, be so evil? Why must their number 1 cable guy be the biggest pervert? Why must THEY create this lawyer reality show? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?????

I actually think I'm framing the issue incorrectly. Why must people from LA (aspiring actors, the whole lot of us) go to law school? All I know is that one way of putting out a fire is cutting down the fuel.

***
Asides:

1) Two of the shows I listed are there as a joke. I actually hated them. As a hint, I also hated Party of Five.

2) I hate Nancy what's her name from the real Court TV. She's always on Larry King Live talking about how every not guilty verdict is an injustice. I wouldn't be so troubled if callers actually called in to say, "Hi Nancy, I've actually been watching for a while and I still think you're an idiot." NO! They call in to praise her.

Larry: "Smallsville, South Dakota...Yer on dee aaaair."
Caller from Smallsville: "Hi Nancy, I just want to say we love you here..."

Just so I don't sound like a fool, the reason I hate her is because regardless of the issue, the case, the person, she's ALWAYS FOR A CONVICTION AT ALL COSTS. Gee Nancy, I wonder if you're a former prosecutor. But that's no excuse. Defense attorneys on Court TV and on Larry King routinely talk about both sides...or how an outcome could reasonably go both ways. The prime example of this is Mark Geragos. When Peterson was first arrested, he AGREED WITH NANCY, that Peterson is screwed based on the evidence. What did he do? Turn around and defend him. Newsflash to Nancy Grace, that's her last name, Grace, about as unfitting as Impartial..."PROSECUTORS DEFEND THE INTEREST OF THE PEOPLE, AND THIS MEANS JUSTICE...NOT JUSTICE TO ONE SIDE."

3) Jon Stewart will be featured on 60 Minutes tomorrow at 7 PM on CBS. I'm thrilled.

4) Lastly, with respect to this Fox show about lawyers, it will have nothing close to reality, but it will do about as much harm to the practice as John Grisham over the course of 8000 novels turned movies by creating misconceptions.

5) In the interest of equality, I will now draft a proposal for a reality show based on the daily workings of network TV executives. Any suggestions about how to go about this would be greatly appreciated.