The Friday Files

Since clearly I'm inspired to begin outlining, I thought instead I'd bring amusing stories from the files of law enforcement, courts, news, etc. First we have the cross-dresser arrested for hanging around the boys' locker room. ("Joey, do you ever hang around the men's locker room?"). The local story mentions how as a cross dresser, he stole the identity of a beautician, etc. But it goes a step further by noting, "Albert ordered Hullenbaugh, of 213 E. Otterman St., Apt. B..." I guess some people can see the benefit of identifying the PRECISE residence of an accused (who cross-dresses and hangs around boys' locker rooms).

Second, we have the denouement to the So I Married an Axe Murderer saga. Actually, it's the kids who find out that their mom is a murderer.

The woman apparently told her children as she was dying that their father had not died in a car crash as they thought but that she had in fact killed him and that his body was in a rental storage facility in Somerville, Massachusetts, a suburb of Boston.

Family members then contacted police, who searched the facility and found a large freezer wrapped in duct tape and giving off a strong odor. Inside, they found the remains of what they think was a man.

The remains of what they THINK was a man. Just a thought, but what the...? How did she not get caught? Car accident? Where's the police report? Ma'am your husband has not shown up to work, where the fuck is he? Ummm, stuck somewhere I'm sure. I guess I can't be too angry with her since she DID come clean. Otherwise the kids would have found out from some collection agency that their mom kept a storage locker. They'd go check it out. See a freezer with duct tape. Open it up. "Huh, we think it's a man. Maybe mom didn't want to bury dad after the car accident to save us the trauma of going to his grave. Yeah that's it. Wow...such a good mom."

Third, we have this clash of titans in Detroit.

While entertained to watch the brawl, I'm still depressed at the prospects of a hockey season. Even these tantrums can't fill the void of a great hockey fight. Plus the NBA doesn't have a 5 min penalty for FIGHTING. (Update: After watching the incident on 5 consecutive sportscenters, I think I would have had a great time issue spotting if we had actually covered intentional torts in torts. But still, the only legitimate lawsuit I see out of this is for any innocent fans hurt by the incident going after the venue.)