And Now For Something Completely Different

I was watching MSNBC last night because the local public access channel didn't have anything good when I noticed the following conversation between the anchorwoman filling in for Chris Matthews and Tom Wolfe, author of I am Charlotte Simmons.

BROWN: OK, before we leave the topic of sex, I have you ask you, you`ve won numerous writing wards, obviously. This month, though, a British literary magazine bestowed you with the bad sex writing award for "I Am Charlotte Simmons." What is your reaction to that?

WOLFE: Well, do you know the old expression, you can lead a whore to culture, but you can`t make her think?

(LAUGHTER)

BROWN: No, but thanks for sharing.

(LAUGHTER)

WOLFE: In this case, you can lead an English literary don to irony, but you can`t make him get it. This award -- award -- is given -- given. It`s hurled actually by a tiny magazine which seems to be outside of Oxford or Cambridge or one of those places. Actually, I`m glad they -- the passage they refer to in which I used words like, you know -- this is the girl you were mentioning at the beginning of the show, the girl from the mountains of North Carolina off to this big university.

BROWN: Right.

WOLFE: And she has never had -- she`s a virgin, absolutely a virgin, and intends to stay that way. She`s never had foreplay before, part of which involves the male, if I may get into this, sticking his tongue in -- down...

BROWN: OK.

(LAUGHTER)

WOLFE: I can tell you love this.

Now let's take a momentary pause from the convo to think WHAT Tom Wolfe could possibly be talking about. Hmmm...what on earth is he talking about? Any thoughts? No, you don't have to write them down. Well let's carry on and see what he meant.

***
WOLFE: And that used to be called French kissing. Today, they call it tonsil hockey, which is I think a much better name for it. And so -- but to the girl, this is not erotic. It`s clinical. So, she`s thinking about how the tongue is exploring her -- or...

BROWN: Yes.

WOLFE: Anyway...

BROWN: I`m with you. I got the point.

FRENCH KISSING. That's how he describes French Kissing. I think he needs to get the biggest prickteaser award.