Lest Ye be Judged
I love the South. First a Tennessee family judge threatens to take custody of a child away from AN AMERICAN woman of Mexican descent (naturalized citizen not that it should matter the kind of citizen one is). Among his reasons, the mom not speaking English is harming the child. Second, he forced her to take contraceptives to be more familiar with American lifestyle. Then the judge relented.
It's hard to seriously write anything about this, so please don't read any of the following as such. With respect to language, the judge basically had the right idea. But it's not other languages that are harming our kids, it's regional illiteracy perpetuated by dialects. New Yorkers need to be dealt with first. Tennessee and the rest of the South is no bastion of proper English either. Anyone who sounds like Jeff Foxworthy needs to go to family court to have the welfare of their children examined. Here on the West Coast parents need to be taught that the rest of the nation doesn't have time to hear their children say "like" 500 times in a single conversation. Lose it or lose the kid.
I must, however, disagree with the judge that using contraceptives is a great American activity. Aside from the whole First Amendment (freedom to practice religion) concerns (which some silly liberals might argue as more American than forcing someone to speak English or take the pill), this approach is not at all effective. As anyone who's read the official government information about contraceptives knows, they are not at all effective. Therefore she will just produce more un-American kids who are not at all suited to live in Tennessee. To truly be American, the judge should have made her do any of the following:
- Watch car racing.
- Cook various original American dishes
- Learn about Icons of American Film and TV.
- Make sure the daughter plays the most popular sport.
- And of course drive what most Americans drive.
Welcome to America, loyalty oaths to your left, McDonalds on your right. The hammer and sickel, always nearby.
It's hard to seriously write anything about this, so please don't read any of the following as such. With respect to language, the judge basically had the right idea. But it's not other languages that are harming our kids, it's regional illiteracy perpetuated by dialects. New Yorkers need to be dealt with first. Tennessee and the rest of the South is no bastion of proper English either. Anyone who sounds like Jeff Foxworthy needs to go to family court to have the welfare of their children examined. Here on the West Coast parents need to be taught that the rest of the nation doesn't have time to hear their children say "like" 500 times in a single conversation. Lose it or lose the kid.
I must, however, disagree with the judge that using contraceptives is a great American activity. Aside from the whole First Amendment (freedom to practice religion) concerns (which some silly liberals might argue as more American than forcing someone to speak English or take the pill), this approach is not at all effective. As anyone who's read the official government information about contraceptives knows, they are not at all effective. Therefore she will just produce more un-American kids who are not at all suited to live in Tennessee. To truly be American, the judge should have made her do any of the following:
- Watch car racing.
- Cook various original American dishes
- Learn about Icons of American Film and TV.
- Make sure the daughter plays the most popular sport.
- And of course drive what most Americans drive.
Welcome to America, loyalty oaths to your left, McDonalds on your right. The hammer and sickel, always nearby.
posted by Armen Adzhemyan at 2:50 AM
2 Comments:
Pizza is partly American, because tomatoes are from America.
http://aboutpizza.com/page.asp?PageID=74
And burritos are completely American...let's make her eat that. Next we can make the Chinese eat orange chicken.
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