Quotent Quotables III

Well it's that time of the semester where students are panicking about exams, and the same panicking students need to create more space in their notes by finally posting amusing quotes from class on their blog. I'm not using anyone's name directly because then anyone can just search them, but I'll try to make it as unambiguous as possible. Without further ado, the quotes, entirely out of context.

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From Prof. Civ Pro, whose last name is the same as the family in Married with Children.

“A ‘we can work it out approach’ to quote Lennon and McCartney.”

“And the person describes the ethics equivalent of an axe murderer.”

“In Fisons we have two smoking guns. These are the real things in smoking gun terms.”

“This is the rule in 59 states.”

“This is one of those cutely defunct department stores.” (SH Kress)

“Maybe you want three noted religious figures each with 20/10 vision of Ted Williams all of whom were figures in the civil rights movement and had a good view of the entrance.” (In re Adickes)

“How do we deal with jury trials when they’re so god-damn expensive?”

“Nothing like this existed in 1791 because unions were criminal conspiracies.”

“I’m watching the clock like a hawk.”

“Why do I do this? Because it costs a shit load of money…eh sorry a lot of money. I forgot I’m in class.”

“This is a typical Hollywood case. We should burst into Johnny Mercer’s ‘Hooray for Hollywood.’ My favorite line from that is, ‘Where you’re terrific even if you’re just good.’ And it’s still true today. Think Keanu Reeves.”

“You mean 'or is this just a civil procedure professor’s conceit?'”

"Whichever one these roll over? Ford, Suzuki?....that's sort of where the rubber meets the road in this doctrine. It just slipped out, I'm sorry."

"Phillip Morris was worried about this for a while. You know how in Men in Black when the aliens were ready to leave and they had the cartons of Marlboro with them? It was that bad."

“And so forth and so on.” 12 times since counting began in mid Feb.

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From Immigration lecturer whose last name is one letter shy of Oakland A's GM.

“That was a very good question. But not for immigration purposes.”

“It’s ok to have fun during this even when your clients are miserable.”

“Not that I want them to be lovey dovey in my office. Sometimes that’s a fraud profile for me. ‘Stop that!’”

“In San Francisco anything goes. You wanna go renew your vows on a boat? Eh go ahead.”

“What seems like the crisis of the century in the beginning of your practice becomes a ‘oh that again’ later on.”

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Prof. Int'l Trade, whose initials appear below

“Suppose you’re a clever North Korean businessman…and not in jail.”

“I’m a social scientist. And all social scientists want to be real scientists, and what real scientists would do is look to see if they are similar.”

“I don’t know the answer to that, but if I had to guess, it’s because American producers contribute a lot more to elections than foreign producers.”

AG: “Now who wants to say something that starts with, ‘[student name] is obviously wrong because…’”
Student: “That’s just too Hobbesian.”
AG: “That’s worse than saying she’s obviously wrong.”

“Room 122, it’s where all important trade discussions take place at Boalt”

“This is the second Sardines case to rise in the WTO. The humble sardine is rattling the cages of international trade.”

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Prof. Property, visiting from Michigan.

“We’ll try to insert babies into the conveyance.”

“If like 20 people own one-tenth of it.”

“This is an empirical question for ME?”

“My neighbors claim I don’t really understand the nature of an easement so they claim I don’t need it since I can back in and out of my driveway. A court may buy that if it was an easement by prior use, but it’s an [grinding teeth together] EXRPESS! easement.”

“Aren’t there any heiresses here? Mr. Fletcher!”

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Lastly, an anonymous student talking about his or her practice oral arguments.

"And then my mind erased and I had nothing in the brain."