Elementary My Dear BTLJ

Today in every Boaltie's inbox appeared the following e-mail (no it's not some scam by Nigerians):

Subject: Theft in BTLJ Office
Date: Wed, 15 Jun 2005 10:58:21 -0700
To: #Students-All <#students-all@law.berkeley.edu>
Cc: Holly Parrish

A theft occurred in the Berkeley Technology Law Journal's office (587 Simon) sometime between Wednesday, June 8 and Monday, June 13. Two flat screen monitors were stolen. As there was no evidence of forced entry into the office, it is likely that either the door combo was used to gain entry or the door was not completely shut. The combination has been changed.If you are working here during non-business hours, please be aware of your surroundings. Report suspicious looking persons to the UCPD. Keep your office door closed. Make sure the door is closed and locked behind you when you leave.UCPD phone numbers: All Emergencies: 9-1-1 (from a cell phone: 642-3333) Business and Non-Emergency Line: 2-6760

-gar

Turns out the wads of cash stashed in the BTLJ office were not touched, leading authorities to suspect an inside-job. According to anonymous sources, the five-day time frame coincides with a LAN party hosted by as-yet unidentified editors. One source remarked, "It was just like freshman year of college when I played counterstrike without even being aware of anything else, like my 98 on a linear algebra midterm."

Desparate to light the office with photons emitted from liquid crystals, the BTLJ has asked the Criminal Law Journal to investigate [Credit: A. Mink]. The Criminal Law Journal's His efforts may not be necessary as 800 Bay Area firms have signed checks in the six digits to replace the LCDs. Currently, BTLJ is soliciting competitive bids for Jumbo-Trons.

Out of town scores at the Oakland Coliseum will now appear on two 15-inch LCD monitors.