Sunday, October 08, 2006

. . . Bearing Gifts

I'm hoping that people interviewing over flyback week will bring their comical stories back to Nuts & Boalts when the vacation is over. Maybe the following anecdote from OCIP 2005 will help prime the pump. To stave off some of the more predictable comments: I concede that this story (1) would have been more timely last month, and (2) is less funny than the ingenious work of Tucker Maxx:

I was interviewing at the Hotel Durant with the SF office of a national firm. Their Palo Alto office was interviewing across the hall. One of my two interviewers was a young, attractive female associate. About ten minutes into my interview, someone pounded on the door. I got up and opened it. It was the Palo Alto partner from across the hall. He brushed past me and bounded up to the young associate, introducing himself and immediately launching into a speech about how she should come down to the Palo Alto office and spend some time with him.

Eventually he left, and my interview continued. When it was done, I walked out of the room and headed for the stairs. But I heard a loud voice, shouting “Hey YOU!” I kept walking. “HEY YOU! COME BACK HERE.” So, still somewhat in my compliant interview mode, I turned back. “COME IN HERE,” said the Palo Alto partner from the room where he was interviewing. The door was open, so I walked in. “I wanna talk to you,” he said. I realized, somewhat to my dismay, that there was another Boaltie in the room, trying to be interviewed by this guy. “Well, I don’t want to intrude…,” I said. “You’re not intruding; I told you to come in here,” replied the interviewer. Then the phone rang. “WAIT RIGHT THERE,” he said, and proceeded to take a call from his office. I exchanged glances with the interviewee, who was sitting in the room’s only chair: a tiny, very low-to-the-ground easy-chair. The interviewer continued to talk on the phone. He began to talk about us. “Guess who I’ve got in here right now,” he said to the person on the other end, “TWO BOALT STUDENTS. One of them is. . . WHAT’S YOUR NAME, KID?” The interviewee told him. “And the other one is just standing here.”

Eventually the call ended. “I WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING,” the guy said to me. “I WANT TO GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE. YOU WON’T GET THIS ADVICE ANYWHERE ELSE IN THIS BUILDING.” At this point the guy started paging through a binder filled with resumes, as though looking for the exact formulation of the advice he wanted to give me. “HERE IT IS,” he announced. “DO NOT FUCK UP. DON’T FUCK UP. DON’T DO IT. DON’T FUCK UP.” I thanked him for the advice and left the room.

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15 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was stunned by how many firms sent social idiots to do the interviews. I think it says a lot about the firm.

10/09/2006 4:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I said the word "penis" during my callback lunch today. Am I screwed? The context was quoting a line from a movie, and the two people at lunch with me were youngish associates.

10/09/2006 5:56 PM  
Blogger Isaac Zaur said...

Did they laugh? If so, you're not screwed. If not. . .

10/09/2006 6:17 PM  
Blogger Carl said...

Why protect the identity of idiotic firms? There's no need for anonymous stories.

10/09/2006 6:47 PM  
Blogger Isaac Zaur said...

I appreciate your comment, Carl, and I thought about this a good deal before posting. The short answer is that I'm not protecting the identity of the firm; I'm protecting myself. Potential future employers, clients, co-workers, co-counsel, court staff, &c. will all be able to see this post for years, and they may not form a good impression of my discretion if I go maligning a firm in public on the basis of my interaction with only one of its partners.

10/09/2006 7:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isaac, Yes they laughed. Whew! I feel better now.

10/09/2006 8:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think i anonymously speak for everyone when i ask, what movie where you quoting?

10/09/2006 9:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

why this one, of course

http://mymovies.imdb.com/title/tt0183208/combined

10/09/2006 10:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

in that case you're pretty screwed.

10/09/2006 11:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

10:59 - you are too funny.

It was actually "Prime" - the part about knitting a hat for the guy's penis. http://mymovies.imdb.com/title/tt0387514/

10/10/2006 12:35 AM  
Blogger stacita said...

issac,

tucker max is funnier. sorry.

can you re-write it as if one of the interviewees WAS tucker? or maybe an epilogue with tucker max pretending to come into the room as a partner?

go for it. ask mr. white to help.

10/10/2006 11:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let's hear some more awesome interviewing stories.

10/10/2006 11:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

10:59, my favorite thing about your link was one of the recommendations that IMBD made for that particular film. Everyone must check it out.

10/10/2006 12:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you're screwed because you quote from shitty Meryl Streep movies.

10/10/2006 6:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good ideas.

9/21/2010 3:35 PM  

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