Apu's Revenge
In The Simpsons, while taking the citizenship exam, Apu is asked what caused the Civil War. The following conversation takes place:
Oh I can see it now. Clinton eased the naturalization process in time to get plenty of extra votes for 96, and now the Bush admin is trying to mint new RoboReps. What kind of questions are in store for new immigrants to this great land? I have a hunch.
"Can you cite which part of the Constitution guarantees a right to privacy? BONUS follow up: Separation of church and state?"
"Define Commander in Chief"
"Writ of Habeas Corpus. When was it written out of existence?"
"Can Congress strip the Supreme Court's jurisdiction over constitutional cases? Can the President?"
Any others?
Apu: Actually, there were numerous causes. Aside from the obvious schism between the abolitionists and the anti-abolitionists, there were economic factors, both domestic and inter--Well, now the CIS wants to modify its naturalization exam to make it more focused on the democratic values of our nation. "The idea is not to toss up roadblocks, it's to make sure people who apply for citizenship and want to become citizens understand and adhere to the values we have as a society, the values that are part of the U.S. Constitution and the Bill of Rights."
Proctor: Wait, wait... just say slavery.
Apu: Slavery it is, sir.
Oh I can see it now. Clinton eased the naturalization process in time to get plenty of extra votes for 96, and now the Bush admin is trying to mint new RoboReps. What kind of questions are in store for new immigrants to this great land? I have a hunch.
"Can you cite which part of the Constitution guarantees a right to privacy? BONUS follow up: Separation of church and state?"
"Define Commander in Chief"
"Writ of Habeas Corpus. When was it written out of existence?"
"Can Congress strip the Supreme Court's jurisdiction over constitutional cases? Can the President?"
Any others?
Labels: The Simpsons
posted by Armen Adzhemyan at 7:33 PM
7 Comments:
"Is Nancy Pelosi from San Fransisco, another planet, or do the two options mean essentially the same thing?"
Order the bill of rights by size of penumbra, from smallest to largest.
Why the hell are there so many amendments saying you can't deny the right to vote in different ways, but none that say you can?
List all privileges and immunities of the Constitution, and then list all privileges or immunities. Compare and contrast.
What's the deal with 1 man 1 vote?
Where is the no infrared scope clause of the Fourth Amendment?
OMG...I just got the 3/5 quesiton. Too funny in a disturbing sort of way. I forgot: "No person shall be convicted of treason"
1. Except upon confessing to our allies through rendition.
2. Except upon the submission of an affidavit by Advisor to the Under Secretary of Defense for Policy Michael H. Mobbs.
3. Because we have Gitmo.
Now which way to the Welfare office! Kidding Kidding, I work, I work.
I had to throw that in there.
Well they want to deport the illegal immmigrants in the first place because they don't like to pay higher taxes to support the "bear patrol" which flies stealth bombers to prevent any future bear attacks.
Homer: Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm.
Lisa: That's spacious reasoning, Dad.
Homer: Thank you, dear.
Lisa: By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away.
Homer: Oh, how does it work?
Lisa: It doesn't work.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: It's just a stupid rock.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: But I don't see any tigers around, do you?
[Homer thinks of this, then pulls out some money]
Homer: Lisa, I want to buy your rock.
Way ahead of its time. (To dumb it down, this is in reference to the VP's comments that our tactics are preventing terrorist attacks.)
I don't pay the bear tax, I pay the Homer tax.
We're here, We're Queer, We don't want any more bears!
We're Here We're Queer, We don't want any more bears!
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