Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Practice Question

1. Law student Lick Spittle and aspiring attorney Ass Aperture are scheduled to sit for the MPRE on Saturday. Spittle is wary of the profession's self-serving and anti-competitive guild structure. He feels that this structure shores up the high profits of those already in the profession but tends to deny needy persons access to legal services. Spittle thinks that this guild-like quality is reflected in both the structure and the content of the MPRE. Aperture is not troubled by the structure of the profession. His family long ago belonged to a 15th century weavers' guild in southeastern France, and he has always wanted to have a guild of his own. However, Aperture does regret the obvious institutional capture within the American Bar Association--which has blocked the promulgation of model rules governing the conduct of class action lawyers. Which of the following would be proper?

a) Bong hits in the parking lot of the Fremont Marriott prior to the test administration.
b) Lick Spittle affixes a 2 x 2 photo of adult video star Jenna Jameson to his "MPRE admission ticket" with transparent tape (no stapling).
c) Spittle and Aperture wear orange jumpsuits and black hoods to their respective test centers.
d) Aperture posts the following message on his blog: "I'm not in the profession yet, dickheads! Let's see you assert jurisdiction!"


Blogger Isaac Zaur said...

Question 2. Powerless over the feelings of self-loathing inculcated by three years of socratic instruction, law student Lax Sak has become a miserable, alcoholic, emotionally erratic wreck. His love life in a shambles, Lax is walking home one day along Telegraph, his eyes fixed on the pavement in front of him. One of the stocking-hatted thugs outside the medical marijuana dispensary between Blake and Parker accidentally drops the April 1988 copy of Spank he is thumbing through and leans down into Lax's line of sight to pick it up. Startled, Lax begins to beat the thug about the head and neck with a rolled-up copy of Gonzales v. Raiche. Which of the following would be proper?

a) Justice Scalia appears in a pillar of cloud to guide Lax away from the scene.
b) Lax begins singing Pink's "Hazard to Myself" at the top of his lungs.
c) The doctrine of unclean hands.
d) The voluntarily homeless teenagers spectating from the curb set out a new cardboard sign that reads: "will represent indigent potheads for free pussy."

3/07/2007 10:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't believe you're not getting more comments. These are hilarious. Seems like you might be getting slightly jaded with your MPRE cramming, though.

3/07/2007 2:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well played, isaac.

3/07/2007 8:17 PM  
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3/21/2007 10:14 AM  

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