I'll Show You Inanimate
Once again I'm not studying for the bar, but instead I'm reading this great article on The Simpsons (the movie comes out the day after the bar). Related to the article, Vanity Fair has its list of the Top 10 Simpsons episodes. Now, the list is VERY well informed. These guys did their homework. So I'm not going to question it. Instead, I'm opening this up for commentary on YOUR top 10, 5, 3, 1 episode(s). There is one requirement. You need a quote from each. Personally, I'm listing episodes not on the VF top 10. You're free to do otherwise.
3. Deep Space Homer
Mr. Burns at monthly worker of the week meeting: "Compadres, it is imperative that we crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And remember, a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya."
2. Who Shot Mr. Burns, Part 2
Officer Eddy: "Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?"
Moe: "Nooooo"
Lie Detector: BUZZ
Moe: "Alright, maybe I did, but I didn't shoot 'im."
LD: Bing
Officer Eddy: "Checks out. Ok sir, you're free to go."
Moe: "Good, cuz I got a hot date tonight."
LD: BUZZ
Moe: "A date"
LD: BUZZ
Moe: "Dinner with friend."
LD: BUZZ
Moe: "Dinner alone."
LD: BUZZ
Moe: "Watching TV alone."
LD: BUZZ
Moe: "Alriiiiiiight, I'm gonna sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog."
LD: BUZZ
Moe: "Sears catalog."
LD: Bing
Moe: "Now would you unhook this please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment."
LD: BUZZ
1. Homer at Bat
Don Mattingly: "I still like him more than Steinbrenner."
3. Deep Space Homer
Mr. Burns at monthly worker of the week meeting: "Compadres, it is imperative that we crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And remember, a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya."
2. Who Shot Mr. Burns, Part 2
Officer Eddy: "Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?"
Moe: "Nooooo"
Lie Detector: BUZZ
Moe: "Alright, maybe I did, but I didn't shoot 'im."
LD: Bing
Officer Eddy: "Checks out. Ok sir, you're free to go."
Moe: "Good, cuz I got a hot date tonight."
LD: BUZZ
Moe: "A date"
LD: BUZZ
Moe: "Dinner with friend."
LD: BUZZ
Moe: "Dinner alone."
LD: BUZZ
Moe: "Watching TV alone."
LD: BUZZ
Moe: "Alriiiiiiight, I'm gonna sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog."
LD: BUZZ
Moe: "Sears catalog."
LD: Bing
Moe: "Now would you unhook this please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment."
LD: BUZZ
1. Homer at Bat
Don Mattingly: "I still like him more than Steinbrenner."
Labels: The Simpsons
posted by Armen Adzhemyan at 11:57 PM
14 Comments:
wow, that IS a good list.
My number one: ep 4F08, The Twisted World of Marge Simpson.
Homer: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Back up a bit now. When are the pancakes coming in the mail?
Vanity Fair is make-believe journalism for little old ladies in Missoula waiting at the hair salon. No writer who received over a C+ in high school English could possibly type the sentence, "The episode manages to both humanize Mr. Burns and delve deep into Homer's love for his oft-forgotten second daughter, Maggie" with a straight face. And I say this mostly because they left off Homer Goes to College.
Homer: But nerds are my mortal enemy!
Lisa: Dad, nerds are nothing to fear. In fact, they've done some pretty memorable things. Some nerds of note include popcorn magnate Orville Redenbacher, rock star David Byrne, and Supreme Court Justice David Souter.
Homer: Oh, not Souter!
And of course:
Dean: I'm sorry boys, but that pig had some powerful friends.
Nixon: Oh you'll pay. Don't think you won't pay!
As of this minute, it's probably Itchy and Scratchy Land (Season Six, episode #2F01, but that could change.
Pilot: We're now approaching our final destination, Itchy and Scratchy Land, the amusement park of the future where nothing can possi-blye go wrong. Er, possibly go wrong. Heh, that's the first thing that's ever gone wrong.
Marge: Oh, I'm so embarrassed I wish there was a hole I could just
crawl into and die.
Officer: OK, throw her in the hole.
Marge: Oh, please. It was just a figure of speech!
Marge: I have nothing to say to you.
Homer: But Marge, I was a political prisoner!
Marge: How were you a political prisoner?
Homer: I kicked a giant mouse in the butt! Do I have to draw you a
diagram?
Willie, I'm a bit disappointed you omitted the whole Bort scenes.
Bart: "Aw man they have Bort key chains but not Bart?"
Mom: "Come along Bort."
Man: "Excuse me are you talking to me?"
Mom: "No my son is also named Bort."
Later...
Security Guys: "We need more Bort keychains, I repeat, we need more Bort keychains."
As much as I hate to do it, I have to agree with EW on Vanity Fair's lack of vision. It seems their list goes after mostly episodes directly modeled after movies or plays. To wit: Evita, Cape Fear
Deep Space Homer is the best episode ever. Ever.
Scientist: People, we're in danger of losing our funding. America isn't interested in space exploration any more.
Assistant: Maybe we should finally tell them the big secret: that all the chimps we sent into space came back super-intelligent.
Chimp: No, I don't think we'll be telling them that. [Roller skates away, making monkey noises]
Ant 1: Protect the queen!
Ant 2: Which one's the queen?
Ant 3: I'm the queen!
Ant 1: No you're not!
And, Brockman's true colors shine through:
Kent: Ladies and gentlemen, er, we've just lost the picture, but, uh, what we've seen speaks for itself. The Corvair spacecraft has been taken over -- "conquered", if you will -- by a master race of giant space ants. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive earth men or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain, there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here.
And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.
I'm also surprised nobody has mentioned Selma's choice yet. Where Selma takes Bart and Lisa to Duff Garden's amusement park when Homer is sick. It gives us some great quotes, from among others, Lionel Hutz.
Hi, I'm Lionel Hutz, executor of Gladys Bouvier's estate. She left a video will, so I earn my fee simply by pressing this "Play" button. Pretty sweet, eh?
Gladys: "... and that has made all the difference." Now let's get down to business. [Hutz's voice on the tape] To my executor, Lionel Hutz, I leave $50,000.
Marge: MR. HUTZ!
Hutz: You'd be surprised how often that works, you really would!
[Homer, wrapped in a bedsheet to keep warm wishes Selma, Bart, and Lisa a good time at Duff Garden's. He turns to the trash and the month old hogie left in it.]
Homer: This is all your fault! [He picks up the old, rotten hogie that has now turned green].
Homer: Oh, How could I stay mad at you? [As he says this, he rubs the sandwich against his face.]
Man: Give her these [hands Selma a few pills]. Then these [a few more pills]. Then these [Dumps loads of pills in Selma's hands].
Selma: Thank you, doctor.
Doctor: Oh, I'm not a doctor.
This is also the episode that gave Armen is screen name. You can delete that Armen if it's too much information.
Lastly, I'd like to thank you from taking me away, on a Saturday night, from the two Torts essays I was supposed to outline.
Treehouse of Horror VI:
Marge: [looking at phone book] Lawyers, lawyers, lawyers...oh! Lionel Hutz. "Cases won in 30 minutes or your pizza's free."
------
Lionel Hutz: [walking around a corner] Well, I didn't win. Here's your pizza.
Marge: But we did win!
Lionel Hutz: That's OK, the box is empty.
Das Bus is a great episode:
The kids doing Model U.N. presentations:
Milhouse (as Poland): Well, I heard they sent a rocket to the sun once.. at night. And there was that submarine, with the screen doors...
Bart (as Libya): Uh, ahem, let's see... [Bart shuffles through his papers, which are blank.] The exports of Libya are varied and numerous in amount. One thing they export is corn, or as the Indians call it, "maize". Another famous Indian was "Crazy Horse". In conclusion, Libya is a land of contrasts. Thank you.
After the kids get stranded on an island, they groan at being marooned. But Bart says: "What's everyone's problem? I'm glad we're stranded! It'll be just like the
Swiss Family Robinson, only with more cursing! We'll live like kings! Damn, hell, ass kings!"
And after eating some suspicious looking fruit:
Ralph: I eated the purple berries!
[Within moments, he collapses to the ground, groaning in pain.]
Bart: How are they, Ralph? Good?
Ralph: They taste like.. burning!
3:49, one of the best lines comes from the twins in that episode, "I'm so hungry, I could eat at Arby's."
"I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's" is my all time favorite line from the show. I've quoted it a million times... but never meant it.
I can't pick a favorite episode, but another of my favorite lines is from A Fish called Selma (3F15): "Hi, it's Troy McClure. You may remember me from such dates as last night's dinner."
As a bonus, this episode also features Troy McClure getting pulled over in a DeLorean, which strikes me as insanely funny.
I also love The Shinning from Treehouse of Horror V. (I can only assume the Vanity Fair article listed it, but I can't be sure. That link was uncooperative.)
Willie: Boy, you read my thoughts. You've got the shinnin'!
Bart: You mean 'shining.'
Willie: Shhhh! Wanna get suuued?!
I think everyone has committed a grave disservice by omitting "El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)." It doesn't get much better than this. Chili Cookoffs. Mystically hot chile peppers. Johnny Cash voicing the trickster coyote. Echoes of Carlos Castenada. Homer and Marge love each other. And hot pants.
At the "Little Bit of Lenny" craft stand
Marge: Oh, look at that adorable spice rack! Eight spices? Some must be doubles. Ore-GAH-no? What the hell?
Sampling "Firehouse Ned's Five Alarm Chili"
Homer: Five-alarm chili, eh?
Ned: Uh-huh.
Homer: [eats some] One, two... hey, what's the big idea?
Ned: Oh, I admit it. It's only two-alarm, two-and-a-half, tops. I just wanted to be a big man in front of the kids.
Todd: Daddy? Are you going to jail?
Ned: We'll see, son. We'll see.
Wiggum: That Simpson, he thinks he's the pope of chili town.
On the Cargo Ship
The Sea Captain: Arr, matey. Nary a warning light to be seen. 'Tis clear sailing ahead for our precious cargo.
Sailor: Uh, would that be the hot pants, sir?
The Sea Captain Aye, the hot pants.
After the ship wreck
Wiggum: Look at all them hot pants.
Lenny: Hey, who likes short shorts?
Crowd: [chanting] We like short shorts!
THE END
ep: Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder
(this one was just on the other day, actually)
Marge: [answering phone] Hello?Homer, where are you? You promised you were going to have a tea party with Maggie.
Homer: [on phone] Oh Marge, I'm sorry, I can't make it. [cut to Homer at the bowling alley] The coolant tank just blew and they're taking Lenny to the hospital.
Marge: Oh, no, not Lenny -- not Lenny!
Homer: Yes, I'm going to have to work late instead of seeing you and the kids, which is what I really want.
Marge: Okay, sure. [hangs up] Kids, turn off the TV. I have some bad news about Lenny.
Bart + Lisa: Not Lenny!
9:38, in undergrad Matt Groening gave a talk about the Simpsons. Later some other writers and actors (Harry Shearer) joined him. I remember a remark by George Meyer about the Nuestro Jomer episode. He wrote the episode fairly early on, but they didn't think people were ready for it until a few years later.
The Sun has an article about the top Simpsons jokes, although they don't mention episode titles.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007320260,00.html
I'm so glad that you do this article talking about one of the most incredible t.v series, because I enjoy so much seeing Homer's ideas that's great.
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