the learning curve

I'm shocked and awed that I've managed to survive my first week of law school. When they told us at orientation to take lots of naps and never sleep, I thought they were kidding. I now see the folly of my views. Already, I've begun to slide toward a surreal world composed entirely of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure, the Restatement of Torts, and the Model Penal Code. You think I jest. I assure you, I do not. When I went to bed last night, my last thought was a question of whether, under the rules of civil procedure, I was allowed sleep.

This week has been a learning experience. I've learned where the couches are. I've learned which student groups have a fridge and a microwave available to members. I've learned that the reason why law students spend so much time in the library is that the books are just too darn heavy to bring home.

Most importantly, I've learned these three things:

1. All concepts in tort law can be explained using Lego pirates. Lego pirate 1 raises his sword to Lego pirate 2: assault. Lego pirate 1 stays up all night drinking rum instead of swabbing the deck, and Lego pirate 2 slips on a dead fish and breaks a leg: negligence. Lego pirate 1 is decorated with lead paint: strict liability.

2. The further a student sits toward the back of the lecture hall, the more likely the student is to be looking at Facebook or checking Gmail.

3. In anticipation of 200k salaries as starting associates, law students indulge in the best. This is clearly present in the selection of beer for "Keg in the Courtyard Parties." I've seen Pyramid Hef and Sierra Nevada this past week - we are obviously well past the days of PBR and Bud.