Sunday, January 27, 2008

Confession of a 1L Gunner

Forgive me Armen, for I have sinned.

I have lusted after a professor. I have desired to know her - not in the Biblical sense, but as two intellectuals, united on a higher plane than that of ordinary mortals. I have waited, all semester, to feel the thrill of eye contact in a crowded classroom, that jolt of electricity when I asked a question that makes her search the vast library catalog in her head for the answer. The moment when she would realize that I, I above all students, was her intellectual equal.

I have felt wrath. How dare that professor assign me an H. An H! Can't he realize that my superior intellect and my razor-sharp wit entitle me to the highest possible grade? Even if my answers weren't the best in the class (which I'm sure they were), I should be given HH's simply on the basis of my study habits. I finished all my reading for every class over Thanksgiving Break, and had all my outlines done in March. Doesn't that deserve a top grade in and of itself?

I have also felt pride. I know it's a sin, but how can I not be proud of my prep school education and my Ivy League diploma? Besides, my daddy promised to get me a clerkship at the Supreme Court when I graduate. And he's paying my law school tuition. And my rent. And the payments on my new car. Of course I'm proud of my daddy. What girl wouldn't be?

I'm sorry for my sins. This semester will be different. I'll try to give the 2 and 3L's in my elective a chance to talk before I raise my hand. It's just so awkward when they don't volunteer... I have to do something about it, don't I? I'll try listening to what the other students have to say, too. I guess it's possible that they might have something worthy to contribute. Although I can't imagine what. I should probably stop telling everyone how smart I am and how great my daddy is. It's not a wrong to think it... is it?

What's that? You think I should spend time in prayer and contemplation? That's a great idea, but I'd better get working on my brief, if I want to get both the awards in WOA.

Thanks for listening to my confession. I feel better already.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...


1/27/2008 7:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Strange. I believe this to be an attempt at humor. I don't think she's referring to herself actually because according to Facebook she's not attended an Ivy League school... Perhaps she is making fun of a classmate?

1/27/2008 8:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, I'm not sure who you are, but I think I'm currently dating you.

1/27/2008 8:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How is that roestta stone coming, Armen?

1/27/2008 10:08 PM  
Blogger Armen said...

10:08, it's great. It even worked from my blackberry. Nickel version of the confession:

"Ohmagosh, there are some people in law school who thought they would always be the best based on unreasonable expectations. But satire and sarcasm will beat them back to reality dang nag it...especially next year during OCIP."


1/27/2008 10:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

(a) how did you finish your outlines in march before finishing all of your reading?

(b) an H isn't exactly wrath...try sub-P

(c) maybe this post was a good idea in would be fun to see other people's versions of 1L gunner's confessions.

1/27/2008 11:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think 11:16's comment was funnier than the actual post.

1/28/2008 10:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Playwright George Kaufman said "Satire is what closes on Saturday night". I'm not sure this would make it past dress rehearsal the week beforehand.

1/28/2008 10:48 AM  
Anonymous kay said...

March/Thanksgiving? Doesn't make sense. Also, this wasn't very funny. Stop trying so hard, it shows...

Or maybe you should be trying harder?

1/28/2008 6:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow, people are MEAN!

bekki, go on with your bad self.

1/29/2008 2:27 PM  

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