Thursday, October 08, 2009

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Negligent...

If you had to brief a case in 15 syllables, could you do it? Neil L*vy can.

After reading Palsgraf v. The Long Island Railroad Co. for Torts last week, Supermod 4,5,6 was pleasantly surprised to find a haiku written by Professor L*vy published in the notes of the casebook. While discussing the case in class, L*vy made no mention of his poem and began to move to the next case when a brave student requested that he recite the haiku. He obliged and it was nothing short of fantastic. It reads:

A man, a package,

push, bang, the scales are falling.

Poor Helen Palsgraf.

After a few drinks at bar review, some 1Ls were feeling inspired and attempted to haiku-ify some other cases we’ve read. Even with the benefit of a beer to get the creative juices flowing, I have no problem admitting I’m no good. The others displayed more poetic flair. Regarding a case about a man (Crankshaw) who slipped in vomit and sued the restaurant that served bad shrimp to the hurler, a friend versed:

Bad shrimp, guy gets sick.

Uh oh here comes Crankshaw, SLIP.

No proximate cause.

Could Lexis and Westlaw include a haiku along with key cites, head notes and case summaries? I’d really appreciate it.

So my question is, who’s the Boaltie with the most poetic prowess? Who can versify my reading for the coming week? The most creative case haiku in comments wins… the title of N&B Haiku Master. I just made that up but I’ll work on getting some sort of sash/tiara/trophy. I have connections from my pageant days. KIDDING.

Get out those syllable counting fingers!


Blogger L'Alex said...

Hah, I love it... OK, here's my entry:

Contract katanas
UCC knocks out small print
Battle of the Forms

10/08/2009 10:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chevron deferrence
too many syllables for
a decent haiku

10/08/2009 12:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Litigating about money

for the rich

ain't fun

10/08/2009 12:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good God you people are the reason I hated law school.

10/08/2009 12:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lighten up. These people are the reason I love law school! You've got to think about the law all the time anyway, might as well make it funny and creative.

Well done all!

10/08/2009 12:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good God you people are the reason I hated law school.

You imply that you've finished law school. And explicitly state that you hated it. Why are you still reading a law school blog, much less posting on it?

10/08/2009 1:13 PM  
Blogger Armen said...

There's an assumption there that's not necessarily warranted.

Back to the OT, some Boalties wrote songs about cases as 1Ls, others are writing Haiku. Solid!

10/08/2009 1:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

can i just say, again, in writing, how much I love Levy?

10/08/2009 1:34 PM  
Blogger corsii said...

Doctor's overdose,
unexpected pregnant death,

(Zuchowicz v. United States)


a typhoid outbreak,
lacking: waters mixed.

(Stubbs v. City of Rochester)

Masked man made it in
can't identify but stats
say: an inside job.

(Williams v. Utica)

10/08/2009 1:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

try this:

10/08/2009 2:33 PM  
Blogger Varty said...

And don't forget last year's awesome Notorious B.O.A.L.T. I love Boalties.

10/08/2009 3:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

a man made life or
anything under the sun
if by man, OK

(Diamond v. Chakrabarty, 447 U.S. 303 (1980))

10/08/2009 4:36 PM  
Blogger McWho said...

Ask B*mberger about his Admin law final re Haikus...great story.

10/08/2009 6:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does Weisselb*rg still do his Green Eggs and Ham version of 4th A. doctrine? Anybody have that?

10/09/2009 10:28 AM  
Blogger Miles said...

LRW, pass / fail
Memo 2 has claimed
a full day of time

Toxic producer
Proximate cause is BS
you gave me cancer

Pay my bill kind sir
your deep pockets demand it
spread cost as you please

10/09/2009 11:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nobel Prize for Obama?
Give me a fucking break, please!
What's been accomplished?

10/09/2009 2:35 PM  
Blogger Toney said...

I don't know what's been accomplished, but at least Obama knows how to count to 5.

10/09/2009 3:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The dead hand gives, to
An octogenarian.
Fee, but not simple.

10/10/2009 4:48 PM  
Blogger Dan said...

Tony, please prove that Obama knows how to count to five. Also prove that he is not a Nazi. Can you prove it? If not, then I guess it at least bears more investigation.

10/11/2009 5:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haiku was my outlet during Torts outlining last year. These won't be new to people in my mod, but here goes:

It speaks for itself
Res ipsa loquitor, says:
Falling barrel, yikes!

Pajamas ignite baby
Judge Hand says, “Oh well.”

(On Metro-North v. Buckley):
No duty to warn
Mesothelioma hurts
Laundromat next time.

Randi W.:
Pedophile is “great with kids.”
School district, you suck.

And a special one for the other veterans of 8:45 a.m. Torts with Prof. H.:

Creep in late again
Endless asbestos cases
Have crushed Am Jur dreams

10/27/2009 9:29 PM  

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