Monday, November 02, 2009

Down the Rabbit Hole, with Madison Hamburg

A tipster sent in a poorly written e-mail that has gone out to at least a few of you Boalties calling for a boycott of tomorrow's Supreme Court session. It was sent under the name Madison Hamburg, which google says is a hotel in Germany. Given the writer's impoverished understanding of the Boalt Hall community, it makes sense that it was composed by an inanimate object from a foreign country. I hesitate to publish the e-mail, as it runs the gamut from intellectual bankruptcy to outright racism, but First Amendment and all that, so here we go. I'll post the full text in the comments. It might help to read it before continuing.

The e-mail identifies three issues with the current Court that concern the hotel. They all sort of boil down to "I'm racist and the Court isn't," but I'll leave them separate for the sake of addressing them in turn.

1) There are no "Christian White Males" on the Supreme Court. I was not aware of this, but the Madison Hamburg carefully proves its point by naming each justice and conclusively establishing both their non-White-Maleiness and obvious lack of judicial qualifications in a single word. For example, "Marvin Baxter--Armenian," "Ronald George--Jewish," and "Kathryn Werdegar--Female." Case closed.

The lack of a Christian White Male is important to the German hotel because
it was Christian White Males who founded this country, and it is unfair to completely passover [sic] them, to the detriment of our legal system. Also, overall, they seem to be the one [sic] with the most potential to be a scholarly ethical jurist [sick], and less likely to engage in shenanigan [sic], based on history and empirical evidence. Putting aside, of course, wise Latina females.
Zing. Once again, hard to argue with that evidence. We all know that Christian White Males are unlikely to engage in shenanigan. Everyone knows that, because of all the history and empirical evidence. Isn't that right, Ku Klux Klan? Like just the other day, I was talking to my White Christian Male friends, and I asked, "Hey, do you guys feel like engaging in any shenanigan today?" And everyone just busted up laughing because of how absurd that is. "Leave that to the Armenians!," Tom said, and everyone nodded in solemn agreement.

2) Justice Carlos Moreno. Now I know what you're thinking. "What could the Germans possibly have against Justice Moreno? He's on the short list to replace David Souter!" Well hold onto your dreads, hippies, because apparently he "is not a known legal scholar and was appointed because he is a Latino!" I hate when that happens. It's like, why go through all this trouble to follow the Constitution by electing a legislature that confirms judicial nominees after holding lengthy hearings where everything they have ever done or written is put on trial, if we're just going to undermine that process with this ridiculous Latino loophole?

And not only that, but apparently last year Justice Moreno "exercised his power to officiate weddings in order to marry two homosexual men." I may not understand all the powers our country grants to non-legal scholars solely on the basis of their race, but entering into a plural gay marriage strikes me as a clear abuse of position.

3) Drum roll. I know you thought the last two issues were quite serious, what with our state's highest court being entirely run by unqualified non-White-Male engagers in shenanigan, but the third point is the hotel's "most serious concern," and rightly so. Ron George, the 27th Chief Justice of the California Supreme Court, lives in... wait for it... Beverly Hills. 9021-freakin'-0! Right next to Tori Spelling, the talking chiuauas, and Hitler's ghost (probably!). This is "very odd and improper," and "tends to raise concerns about his personality, character, and world view." Obviously.
Our guess is that he likes to hang around the rich, famous and the powerful, shop at Rodeo Drive, and eat at fancy restaurants.
Guess?! He's probably wearing diamond-encrusted leather chaps and a chinchilla coat under that robe!

His residence in Beverly Hills had led to all sorts of problems, including a preclusion for taking bribes, nepotism, and upholding a light sentence for an attacker of Jewish men.
So if you are a Jew (and many of you are) or other minority, think how would you like to be in the position of the victims of said assault.
That's right, all you Jews and other minorities (aka "many of you"), you have a duty to your ethnicity to oppose diversity on the Supreme Court and these egregious injustices against Christian White Males! So says the Madison Hamburg. Four stars.

27 Comments:

Blogger Dan said...

Dear member of the Boalt Hall community:

As you know, tomorrow the Supreme Court of California will hold a
special session at the school. We ask that you please boycott the
event. Or, in the alternative, if you choose to attend, please ask
the justices about some of the concerns listed below during the open Q
& A session.

1. The first concern we have is the lack of a Christian White Male as
a member of the California Supreme Court. While there is much talk
about "Diversity" in the legal profession, it now appears that there
is actually no Christian White Male on the California Supreme Court.
All the justices belong to a minority group, and most were elevated to
that position solely because of that fact, to wit:

Carlos Moreno-Latino.

Marvin Baxter-Armenian.

Ronald "90210-1" George-Jewish (Not to be confused with the other
Chief Justice who lives in Beverly Hills Alex "90210-2" Kozinski)

Ming Chin-Asian.

Kathryn Werdegar-Female.

Joyce Kennard-Asian, Female.

Carol Korrigan- Female, and according to Christine Craft, a member of
the Bar and a KGO host, a homosexual.

11/03/2009 12:56 AM  
Blogger Dan said...

As you can probably recall, it was Christian White Males who founded
this country, and it is unfair to completely passover them, to the
detriment of our legal system. Also, overall, they seem to be the one
with the most potential to be a scholarly ethical jurist, and less
likely to engage in shenanigan, based on history and empirical
evidence. Putting aside, of course, wise Latina females.

2. The second concern we have is about Justice Carlos Moreno. Justice
Moreno's values are inconsistent with that of our school and that of
our state. Recently, Justice Moreno, who is not a known legal scholar
and was appointed because he is a Latino, exercised his power to
officiate weddings in order to marry two homosexual men. Specifically,
his attorney law clerk, Mr. Michael Nava and his boyfriend, Mr. George
Herzog. Mr. Nava, who is accustomed to benefit from affirmative
action, assumptively demanded to also be appointed as a justice (judge
is not good enough for him, he wanted Justice ab initio) because he is
a homosexual. In an interview to the Recorder, he indicated that he
should be appointed as a justice because he is a homosexual "the
absence of a gay and lesbian judge. Maybe [Schwarzenegger] can remedy
that soon" he complained. When that did not happened, he switches his
tune a bit and now wants it because he is also Latino. Basically, Mr.
Nava wants the Governor to take the fact that he is a homosexual
Latino into account, while disregarding other candidates

11/03/2009 12:56 AM  
Blogger Dan said...

3. The third, and most serious, concern we have is about the
integrity of the chief justice-- Ron George. We find it very odd and
improper that he and his family live in Beverly Hills. As an attorney
and judge who worked his entire career for the State of California,
one begs to know where he has the money to support such a life style
(which as Americans we have the right to do) also, it tends to raise
concerns about his personality, character, and world view. Our guess
is that he likes to hang around the rich, famous and the powerful,
shop at Rodeo Drive, and eat at fancy restaurants. Probably at times
with 90210-2 in order to "schmooze" a little.

Also, as a judge who loves luxury, he might be more susceptible to
commit misconduct in the form of receiving bribery in order to support
this lifestyle, or to overlook injustices and corruption. For
example, we find it odd that his son obtains a position working for
the Governor’s legal staff. It is sad that no one, not even Stephen
Barnett, objected to this obvious conflict and appearance of
favoritism. Another, and most disturbing example, was his decision to
approve the sanction of a lawyer to only 60 days suspension from a
membership in the State Bar of California. Few years ago, a member of
the Bar, viciously assaulted a Jewish man who was walking in San
Francisco. The assault took place because the man was wearing a kipa
on his head.
As a result of the assault, the victims suffered broken bones
(includinging few broken ribs) and needed hospitalization. Said
lawyer was convicted and sent to jail. Subsequently, charges were also
brought against the lawyer in the State Bar Court. As it turned out,
the lawyer had a prior history of discipline with the Bar for a
similar incident. However, and most shocking, said lawyer was
suspended for only 60 days for his involvement in the hate crime
against the Jewish man. It was Ron George who signed and approves the
60 day suspension because he was influenced by the fact that the
lawyer was the son of a Republican politician. 90210 style justice.
So if you are a Jew (and many of you are) or other minority, think how
would you like to be in the position of the victims of said assault.
And how would you feel if a prosecutor who had a five (five) year
cocaine addiction (Nisperos) and a black female judge (McElroy) would
present a 60 day suspension to the chief justice, and he approves it.
Will you respect that man??!!
As such, tomorrow, when court is in session, please be respectful of
the process and of the justices. During the open Q & A session,
please consider raising some of the issues mentioned above.

11/03/2009 12:56 AM  
Blogger Armen said...

Hmmm, I guess ancestry from the land that gave rise to the term "Caucasian" and the culture first to adopt Christianity as a state religion are not enough to qualify you as a White Christian male.

But then again, I've suspected as much ever since that Chippie in Fresno put down "O" for race on my speeding ticket.

11/03/2009 1:11 AM  
Blogger Dan said...

Let's find other things hilariously wrong with this e-mail! I couldn't fit them all into my post. A couple of favorites:

1. The phrase "Or, in the alternative," is probably the most descriptive of phrases.

2. The misspelling of "passover" right after the race-baiting Jewish talk seems almost self-aware.

3. It includes "a member of the bar" with Carol Korrigan's description. Does this mean a) that he thinks bar membership is a bad thing for the court, and b) that he doesn't believe the other justices are members?

11/03/2009 2:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Despite being homophobic, the author still decided to send it off to the Queer Caucus email.

11/03/2009 9:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So she's pretty much saying that we shouldn't take into account someone's race, gender, or religion unless they are a white Christian male?

and Dan,

The part where she says "member of the bar" refers to Christine Craft, not to Korrigan.

11/03/2009 9:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anybody trace the IP address to see where it came from?

11/03/2009 9:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For all the racism it spouts, I've got to say... I've been to this hotel, and it is TOP NOTCH.

11/03/2009 10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am a Boalt alum (a rather "non-CWM (Christian White Male)" one, at that. In fact, I am a non-Christian, non-White, non-Male.

When this email was forwarded to me this morning (by another non-Christian, non-White, non-Male law school alum), the smile that emerged on my face could not have been bigger.

All I could say to myself was, "[sigh] finally."

11/03/2009 10:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why even validate the email by posting about it? Seems like a waste of time to me.

11/03/2009 10:30 AM  
Blogger Dan said...

Yeah, but I'm a 3L. LOADS of free time. If you think this post validated the e-mail, I really failed.

11/03/2009 10:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol.

11/03/2009 11:31 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

Don't feel bad, Armen. The crazy person who wrote this doesn't think that the pope is a Christian either.

11/03/2009 4:02 PM  
Blogger Matt said...

Was this written by a Boalt student? If yes, how the hell did s/he get admitted?

11/03/2009 4:05 PM  
Blogger Dan said...

Geez, Matt. I do ok!

Oh, you meant the letter. Pretty sure it was not written by a Boalt student.

11/03/2009 4:07 PM  
Blogger Matt said...

No. I was talking about the blog post.

11/03/2009 4:08 PM  
Blogger Dan said...

Oh, affirmative action. We get one Utahn per year, automatically.

11/03/2009 4:09 PM  
Blogger McWho said...

I was class of '09's Utah rep.

11/03/2009 4:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't get 10:05's post.

11/03/2009 5:19 PM  
Blogger Sean said...

There are two Utah people this year!!

11/03/2009 5:47 PM  
Blogger Jackie O said...

Utah rep for class of 2012 here! I'd just like to say that ever since I left Utah, I really noticed a shocking lack of CWMs around these parts. So glad someone's finally speaking up about it.

11/03/2009 8:30 PM  
Blogger Toney said...

Meh. Idaho gets TWO reps per Boalt class. And Idaho (as a state) has a much better football record.

11/03/2009 8:39 PM  
Blogger Sean said...

Who, I wonder, is Jackie O? For I know of myself and one other who hail from Utah in the class of 2012...

11/03/2009 10:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They let in too many Utahns this year!!!

11/04/2009 8:13 AM  
Blogger Dan said...

Actually there are two in my class as well, but I think I was the only one who got in because of the quota.

11/04/2009 9:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since Armen's already mentioned that Armenians are for the most part Christian and white, I'll just add that this hotel might like Baxter better if it read his In re Marriage Cases dissent. 183 P.3d 384, 456-68.

11/05/2009 1:47 PM  

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