You are about to embark on a tale of hardship, redemption, and triumph. Although the journey is long and difficult, with lots of ego-stroking from yours truly, the payoff will probably be worth the cost. Plus, if you're here, it's not like you have anything better to do. So follow along with the greatest story ever liveblogged:
12:45: Just arrived. The pizza is not here yet, but the crowd remains enthusiastic.
12:50: The teams are announced. They are as follows:
PROFESSORS: O*ppenheimer, M*urray, and S*wift.
DEANS: B*erring, T*om, and
someone I don't recognize (fix in the comments!)
STUDENTS: Team Double Jeopardy, which took down my team in the semi-finals last Tuesday (Boo). They are: C*harles Ainscough, G*rant Shrader, and D*avid Mishook.
12:57: Two questions have been asked that NO TEAM could answer. The first was about Leona Lewis (who?), and the second was the identity of the youngest Jonas Brother aka "the bonus Jonas" (who cares?).
12:58: One correct answer to each team. Students knew characters from Animal House, and Prof M*urray knew "Mr. Big" from Sex and the City, while B*erring earned a spot on my "favorite people" list by knowing that Buffy features a fictional band called "Dingoes Ate My Baby." Bonus points to anyone who can tell me the REAL band that played Dingoes, minus Seth Green.
1:00: Professors just took the lead by knowing that Nicolas Cage named his dumb baby Kal El, after Superman.
1:01: Which two lead Glee actresses live together in real life? Everyone knew Lea Michele, but no one knew Diana Agron. I happen to know that G*rant kind of knows Agron, so he should have gotten that. No points. Profs are still up 1, I think.
1:02: Dan realizes that points are deducted from all WRONG answers, throwing his entire point count out of whack. Also, bizarrely, decides to write in the third person. Real scores: Professors: 00; Deans: 600; Students: -600.
1:03: No one knew Binary Code. M*urray knew "the mighty mitochondria." Not sure what the question was!
1:04: PIZZA HAS ARRIVED. Dan momentarily tunes out. Scores are now: 500, 600, and -500 (same order as above).
1:05: Professors just answered a question about an R and B star who threw an audience member from the stage (or something). I think it was H-Ron? Regardless, M*urray continues to be ridiculously good at this.
1:07: The Pizza is the NEW Dominoes, which tastes suspiciously exactly like the old dominoes.
1:08: Here's a thinker: which actor married two actresses who played Batman's love interests? Warning: requires you to remember one of the Schumaker movies. Answer: Tom Cruise. Points to Professors (again, apparently M*urray).
1:09: S*wift, acting reliably adorable, looks embarrassed by how many questions M*urray has answered (she also just got that Vanilla Ice was was born Robert Van Winkle--WHAT?). M*urray pats her on the back and says "we're all on the same team!" Dan sheds a single tear and remembers that there is good in the world.
1:10: After the aforementioned M*urray runaway, Profs are at 3700 POINTS! Deans are second with 700, and students are at -1100. It's not quite as embarrassing as it sounds, since M*urray is inhuman, and students have offered some pretty good guesses.
1:12: Longest win streak in men's college basketball? B*erring knows. The UCLA Bruins, where my youngest brother proudly attends, since you care.
1:13: First Asian player in the NBA? Students guess Yao Ming, which is wrong. B*erring seems to also think it was Yao Ming. No one in the entire room knows, except the guy who asked the question. Clearly, whoever it was pretty much sucked.
1:14: M*urray knows the largest artery in the human body is the Aeorta. What a nerd! The host calls out "Professor Team," and S*wift responds, "You can just call it Melissa's team," for the win.
1:15: Who was the only president to remain a bachelor his entire life? M*urray: Buchanan. Everyone laughs at what a NERD she is!
1:16: What Middle Eastern capital was once known as Philadelphia? No one in the room knows, and I didn't hear the answer. Commenters?
1:16: Our fist daily double! It goes to the professors, obviously. Not sure what they wagered. "Which US State has produced the most US Presidents?" As my alma matter reminded me semi-daily, the answer is dear ol' Virginia.
1:17: What was the first Pixar movie to get a PG rating? Students guess Cars, which is wrong. No one else knows it, except me. It's The Incredibles. Scores: 7100, 1200, -2300. Ouch.
The Dean who I don't recognize
G*uzman just asked the Students, "Who did you guys beat?" That would be my team, the fighting Cobra Kai!
1:20: No one knows Seth Cohen's favorite band from The OC. I raise my hand, without shame. They call on me, and I gleefully answer Death Cab. Hey, Seth Cohen is like 50% responsible for convincing attractive women that it's ok to date nerds. I worshiped the man.
1:22: What was the final score of The Big Game? No one here knows, but I bet Armen does.
1:23: WHOA STUDENTS!! They just got a Math and Logic question. One of those "what's the next number in this sequence" things. The Deans ask how C*harlie knew it, and he answers "Deduction." Brilliant.
1:24: They ask a golf question ("what is the record for most under par?"). No one gets it. It goes to the audience and I yell "golf sucks!" because I'm hilarious.
1:24: Deans just named four countries that border China, after conferring for a few seconds AFTER buzzing in. Cheaters.
1:25: Score update (now with semi-colons!): 10,700; 4,400; -1,800.
1:26: MAD MEN TRVIA! What is the name of Don Draper's newly formed advertising agency? NO ONE GETS IT!!!! COME ON NOW!!! Say it with me, everyone: STERLING, COOPER, DRAPER, PRICE! I watch too much television.
1:28: What is the most decorated unit in the history of the US Armed Forces? D*avid, probably after watching Band of Brothers, guesses the 101st Airborne, which is wrong. I don't know the real answer. To redeem themselves, G*rant correctly answers a question about Aaron Sorkin's worst television show: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.
1:30: Interesting volley. Question is about the genre of some French film director, M*urray buzzes in and says "Film Noir," then says "no wait--French New Wave Cin--." She is cut off. Sensing an opportunity, students buzz in with French New Wave Cinema. That's TWO IN A ROW, nerds!
1:31: Students get a question about Sonic the Hedgehog, after a hint. They then get one about Chimeras (but pronounce it wrong). That's four in a row! They're climbing out of the red, folks.
1:32: No one knows how many bones are in the human body, except for one failed med student in the back. Commenters?
1:33: C*harles impresses everyone by knowing that Sweden is the country that switched its driving from Left Side to Right Side in 1967. And they just got another one that I didn't hear. Only -300 now, guys!
1:34: Question about which state makes Fortune Telling a Class B Misdemeanor. I know the answer, because it's featured in an issue of the brilliant comic Ex Machina. Anyone else? -------------------------------- (NEW YORK!) I get some points for the audience on this one.
1:35: What is the city where Andy and Morgan Freeman end up at the end of Shawshank? My friend Christine was just making fun of me for not knowing this like two days ago. Looks like no one else knows it either, sucka! The audience chimes in with Seo Jua Teneo (spelling?).
1:36: THE STUDENTS ARE BACK IN THE BLACK! By process of elimination due to incorrect guesses from the other teams, C*harlie figures out that the skeleton Lucy was found in Etheopia! Utah, represent!
1:37: G*rant for the student team knows Dr. Suess's real name (Theodore Geiser). Now at positive 1200, but still behind the Professors' 7300 and Deans' 3400.
1:39: M*urray just missed a question about Sesame Street. Which character has a twin brother who wears a fedora and a suit and is a salesman? Bert, apparently. Also, rumors of Bert's death have been greatly exaggerated.
1:40: Commenters have begun to chime in with answers. Now I feel bad for giving out so many for free. Anyway, good job commenters! If you Googled, you are a dirty cheater.
1:41: B*erring knows that there are 81 squares in a Soduku puzzle. 9 times 9, people.
1:43: Categories are running out, which means it's time for Math and Logic! Deans' team answered a question about weekly pay that basically required you to multiple 52 by 60,000. It makes my brain hurt.
1:44: After two math answers from Deans' team, they are just 900 points behind the professors. Students just got that 4/15 (I think) is halfway between 1/3 and 1/5. I was thinking 1/4, because numbers make me want to cry.
1:45: Students have figured out that you get a few seconds to think after buzzing in, so you should just buzz in on any math question that looks solvable. Unfortunately, they still get it wrong.
1:46: STAR WARS TRIVIA! I'm betting C*harlie gets this. Last Tuesday he knew the species of Admiral Ackbar (commenters?). Who is the only non-Jedi to wield a Light Saber?
David got it, obviously, but I'll also leave that one for the comments.
1:48: Students just went on a ROLL! G*rant knew that the longest band name without vowels (sort of) belongs to those boys who weren't really from Sweet Home Alabama: Lynyrd Skynyrd. The students also knew where Freddie Mercury was born. Do you?
1:50: Ok, after a just-in-time run on the board from the Students and some rare incorrect guesses from Team M*urray, the scores are fairly balanced going into Final Jeopardy. Profs: 6900; Deans: 6200; Students: 4000. Depending on the wagers, it's still anybody's game!
1:51: FINAL JEOPARDY QUESTION: Who was the first President to be born in the U.S. after independence and the only one whose native language was NOT English? That's kind of awkwardly phrased, but I'm thinking J.Q. Adams.
1:53: Nope, I'm wrong. BUT STUDENTS ARE RIGHT! The man in question, who also has a fictional television gang named after him (they're as mean as he was), is MARTIN VAN BUREN. Students wagered 4,000, bringing them to 7990.
Ok, it all comes down to this. Drum roll...... Cymbal CRASH!
1:54: HOLY SHIT EVERYONE!!! THE PROFS AND DEANS BOTH SAID ANDREW JACKSON, AND THEY WAGERED WAY TOO MUCH!!!! DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?!?!?! THE STUDENTS WIN!!! THEEEEE STUDENTS WIN!!!! THEEEEE STUUUUUUDENTS WIN!!!!
1:55: From now on, I am calling every member of the student team "The Van Buren Boys!" Congrats to C*harlie, G*rant, and D*avid. Also, the name of the Dean I did not recognize was G*uzman. Good job, G*uzman!
This is the first time in my history at Boalt that the students have won this thing. Does anyone know if it's ever happened before??