How to Make Boalt Suck
Howdy folks,
Today in our installment of "How to Make Boalt Suck" we're going to discuss how to leave passive aggressive notes in the study shacks in the library (or whatever they're called).
First, the text of our example note:
These carrels are meant to be available to all students. 'Reserving' them by leaving your computer for hours is inappropriate and unfair to others wishing to study. Please do not do this again.As you can see, the note achieves admirable levels of passive aggressive gunning. Let me break it down for you so that you, too, can master the technique of library note gunning:
1. False authority. Make demands that you have no right to make and no way to enforce. End the note with a command that sounds serious but you know you cannot back up.
2. Be anonymous. The use of false authority along with anonymity bring the note up to truly magnificent levels passive aggressiveness. They'll think you could be anyone or everyone and it spares you having to actually be accountable for your behavior towards another law student. This step is crucial.
3. Liberal use of smear quotes. Don't like a "word," use a fucking smear quote! It makes you seem way more sarcastic and your criticism will be that much more pointed.
4. Cite a value most people will agree with and then pervert it to your gain. It's "unfair" for individuals to take up study spaces, but it's not unfair for you to use these tactics to make them feel bad about it.
5. Be inaccurate in your complaint. Use terms like "hours" instead of the real amount of time, which was more like 50 minutes.
6. Finally, and most importantly, complain at the least logical time to do so. Don't wait until exams or when the library's packed, make your complaint when you're not even inconvenienced! The fact that there are multiple other seating options directly next to the study cubby in question makes this note even more powerful and effective.
Follow these simple steps, kids, and we, too, can have a law school that sucks. Just ask the kids at UC...oh sorry, out of time!
(Thanks to DS for showing us this amazing example!)
Labels: 0L/1L Advice, Law School, Legal Culture
posted by James at 3:15 PM
36 Comments:
a. may. zing.
Passive-aggressive notes posted over people's backpacks are for wimps.
Real men phone in suspicious packages.
"how to make nuts & boalts suck" - FTFY
This is not 'Nam, James. There are Rules.
As you can see, 3:45 did a great job following several of the rules. Way to go!
This is obviously the same person who got a legal. And shat.
Which FTFY definition was 3:45 going for?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=FTFY
@Toney, what does that mean, to get a legal?
I can't remember if she got a legal or took a legal. What i do remember is that she shat on just about everyone.
I am totally with you--passive aggressiveness is the worst. It would have been much better to take an aggressive approach, like stealing your books or spilling coffee on your computer.
I saw no problem with the note until I saw that it wasn't really hours. Someone who left their computer there for hours would deserve to have their laptop replaced with a PAN.
Although I agree that this note is silly, your argument against it is pretty absurd as well. It is "unfair" to tell someone that they are doing something that is (at least borderline) wrong because that makes the offender feel guilty? And someone has to wait to complain about a behavior until they are actually inconvenienced by it? I'm pretty sure extension of this logic would make Boalt suck.
4:58 - Just because there are WORSE things that could have happened doesn't mean that this particular action wasn't stupid or douchey.
That's like saying to a friend that complains about being rear-ended in the parking lot, "at least you didn't get raped by a GOAT".
Also, wtf is wrong with some of you. There are infinity open cubes in this picture. The note was absurd and unnecessary. And a legal.
Ugh, this is what I hated most about Boalt--and this blog in particular. That whole attitude of "oh we're so cool, we're cooler than this person, this note is uncool, this person's a gunner. how uncool. let's all attack this person for being uncool."
I don't know why they left the note or why they wanted that seat, but that doesn't make Boalt suck nearly as much as this holier-than-thou high school girl attitude taunting crap.
Also, their note is actually not unenforceable since you may come back next time and find your laptop is not where you left it.
So a few clarifications:
1) I lock my laptop with a computer lock to the desk. So there was no risk of someone stealing it. I guess someone could have spilled coffee or something on it but I would hope no one in the Berkeley community would intentionally do something like that.
2) I was not gone for "hours." I was gone for an hour. I got to the library around 11, studied until 1:20, took a lunch break and had a quick meeting, and got back at 2:30.
3) There was no crunch for space. When I got back there were literally 4 open carrels within 10 feet of me. When I left, the library was more busy but still was around half capacity with plenty of seating.
5:54,
This was about poking fun at behavior that contributes to stress in our environment they're spending most of their time in.
Most of my writing on this blog is satirical. You know, the genre of humor? You might not think it's funny, but I wouldn't take it so seriously.
Love,
James
5:54, I'm disagreeing with you so hard I'm breaking a sweat.
First of all, I don't understand what makes this post so awful to you when it's performing essentially the exact same function as the note - informing a fellow student that one's behavior is inappropriate. In fact, in several ways, this post is notably BETTER than the note: the author of the post, the recipient of the note, and several of the commenters who agree are making their statements publicly, without sheepishly hiding behind anonymity; the post breaks down what is unacceptable about the behavior complained about and explains why; the post refers to a behavior that actually had a negative effect on someone.
Because that's really what's obnoxious here, in my opinion, not some nebulous act of gunnery or someone not being "cool" enough... which I have no idea why you thought this was about. Caring that you can't find an open carrel in mid-February is gunneresque. Leaving a fellow student an anonymous note when what they were doing had literally no impact on anyone else is annoying. Writing the note in a condescending tone while lying about the subject's behavior is just being straight ass hole. Do you really disagree with that? Why?
So basically, your position seems to be: anonymous, inflammatory, pointless advice: Great! Signed, explanatory advice encouraging a fellow student to quit doing something that negatively affects others, in a public post on a blog that literally every single student in this school is aware of: Mean Girls!
Next time just don't write that note, OK?
Blah blah blah. Dude, I left my car in this parking spot for a restaurant and then left to go somewhere else instead of the restaurant. Someone left a note. How lame passive-aggressive and uncool, they should have just towed my car. Also, it was just like only for an hour. This whole post seems like verbal masturbation.
i think james' analysis is funny, and people who get worked up about mockery should relax. it's california, for god's sake. also, the note was objectively lame. defending the note's author is wicked uncool.
Wait...what's wrong with verbal masturbation? Do I need to go to confession?
I'm pretty sure an argument is a loser when it appeals to the moral authority of meter maids running around and citing/impounding unattended laptops parked in study carrels.
The white zone is for loading and unloading "attack" outlines only.
Oh behave with those analogies, 8:48! Who pays for a restaurant's parking spaces? Who pays for these carells?
I'm not the student who posted the note, but the next time I see a laptop left unattended for more than 15 minutes I am going to remove all the RAM.
Then I'm going to take a poop on it.
7. Always use Westlaw stationery.
FYI those computer locks don't work worth crap.
See here
and here.
I hope HTMBS becomes a regular feature.
And I'm glad to see that getting a legal has returned to the common parlance.
I get the humor, but I am growing tired of the hating on "gunners." This was an attitude I didn't know I was supposed to have until I got to law school. Before, I just dealt with ambitious/hardworking people. And a-holes. I didn't feel a need to point them out or point out how much better I was than them. I just accepted and moved on. I still feel that way.
That said, props to the people who post on here with names attached (i.e. James). Every once in a while, I like hearing what you have to say ;)
I love it! How long do you think they stewed about it before they worked up the courage/killed their ability for self-examination enough to leave this?
Proposed new rule: If you leave your laptop unattended for more than hour you will be shat on, receive a legal, and be required to pay a moderate laptop towing fee.
Check you passive aggressive behavior. Writing a note is not passive aggressive. Saying you would watch someone's computer, and the forgetting to on purpose in the hope it gets stolen is.
then*
I left the note.
THIS IS ANONYMOUS
WE HAVE REVOLTED AGAINST OUR BAR REVIEW OVERLORDS!!!
THE PEOPLE WANT KIP'S
THE PEOPLE WILL GET KIPS
SEE YOU ALL THERE
(PASS THIS ON)
Looks like some fat undergrad girls are gonna be getting extra lucky tonight!
LOOKS LIKE ANONYMOUS PREVAILED
I'm shocked anyone's brave enough to leave their laptops behind. The library staff never loses a chance to let us know that the minute our back is turned, someone -- Jawas? Oliver Twist? -- will take our shit.
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