Hardest Boalt to (Un)screw

In response to Ann's not so veiled dare, I will now offer my own top 10 list, which will be generally conforming to the categories already established. As a well-identified blogger, there will be instances where you might have to assume the exact opposite of what I say. I hope those will be painfully obvious.

1. To borrow an answer a friend gave to a purity test question, "Do you mock religion?" I say, "With a vengeance." Or to quote a former co-worker, "You and a superstitious woman...oil and water" (referring to g/f of 2.5 years...go figure).

2. To the best of my knowledge, I have not broken any laws of the United States or any of the various states thereof. I always drive the posted speed limit. I always double and triple check my blind spot, even when not changing lanes. My car DOES NOT HAVE illegal cracks in the windshield on BOTH the passenger and driver sides. But in previous lives I've carried out mob hits.

3. Biological parents are alive and kicking, ususally when we try to haul them off to the old folks' home. [kidding...they don't kick.] My younger brother and I suspect impropriety since we look nothing alike. However, upon the attestation of EVERY SINGLE PERSON who has met both us, we grudgingly admit that we have similar PERSONALITIES. Neither one of us is still willing to concede any physicial similarities, quite possibly proving beyond doubt we really are brothers.

4. I mock Randheads with a vengeance.

5. I voted for Bush in 2000. It's true. I even managed to dig up an old e-mail I sent via "reply-all" when a very good friend of mine from HS and UCLA forwarded crap alleging impropriety in FL and in the election in general. (Impro-what? Yeah, I know, my thoughts exactly). Anyway, going over the e-mail I guess I was a jackass to boot. Huh, you want to read what I wrote? But I don't have the original and it would unfairly cast me in bad light to just show my response (without the obligatory caveat that this was a week before my FIRST EVER COLLEGE FINALS). Ok fine, ask and ye shall receive.

6. I have no shame. No, really. Also, I can't swim. And I love airplanes.

7. I fear dancing. I have nightmares about having to dance. But I still have no shame.

8. The closest thing I have to a fettish is the midget in the closet. [Note if you are a law enforcement officer or a hiring partner, please see #2.]

9. I have vowed to forever love people for the following reasons:
-- Buying breakfast
-- Buying lunch
-- Buying dinner
-- Buying brunch
-- Buying Linner (I still think Dunch has a better ring to it)
-- Concealing shameful information about me from the general public
-- Lying, cheating, stealing (I'm hoping these favors will be returned in my future career)
-- Caring, giving unconditional love and affection
-- AAA guy unlocking car door.
-- AAA guy unlocking car door 5x (they had to charge me for the last couple since I was over my annual limit)
-- Anyone who's discovered the truth behind #8 but has hinted that they'd remain silent if the "price is right."

10. Oooh a sexual partners question. On the one hand there's the truth. On the other image/persona.