Pick Me, Pick Me! (Then Give Me 30 Days to Hydrate)
We haven't had much Kevin Smith chatter this fall. There are two reasons why we probably should. First, he's in the air; it seems that every time I bump into a 3L, Smith rears his ugly head:
Cell Phone Me: "Hey, you worked at Mega Firm USA's San Francisco office, didn't you? What did you think?"
Boalt 3L #1: "Can't talk now. Love to, but I'm learning to mail-merge."
Print-Station Me: "Please tell me those are handouts for other people, or something. You are pretty much holding your entire print quota in your hands. And it's only the third day of school."
Boalt 3L #2: "Oh don't worry, I don't have to read all this. It's just my clerkship application."
Computer Lab Me: "I'm sorry, you look really busy and I don't want to interru--"
Boalt 3L #3: "PLEASE DO! I'm proofing the spacing around the periods in my clerkship writing sample. MEEAHHHRRG! This kind of thing is what I least look forward to about being a lawyer!"
If the fact that this stuff is going down isn't enough of a prompt, there is also the comment quoted below, which was tacked onto some thread from two years ago:
Anonymous said...
Can we get a confirmation whether or not clerks for federal judges are required to pass a drug test prior to employment?
8/18/2008 1:33 PM
Nice research skills, Anon, but, er, yeah. Two years. These threads may whine, but they hardly age that way. My uneducated belief, for whatever it is worth, is that the last thing a clan of mail-mergers and period-proofers should have to worry about is a little plastic cup. I mean, even if you fail the test you still have unparalleled abilities to mail-merge and period-proof! What really counts here??
But that's just me. It's still a fair question.
Cell Phone Me: "Hey, you worked at Mega Firm USA's San Francisco office, didn't you? What did you think?"
Boalt 3L #1: "Can't talk now. Love to, but I'm learning to mail-merge."
Print-Station Me: "Please tell me those are handouts for other people, or something. You are pretty much holding your entire print quota in your hands. And it's only the third day of school."
Boalt 3L #2: "Oh don't worry, I don't have to read all this. It's just my clerkship application."
Computer Lab Me: "I'm sorry, you look really busy and I don't want to interru--"
Boalt 3L #3: "PLEASE DO! I'm proofing the spacing around the periods in my clerkship writing sample. MEEAHHHRRG! This kind of thing is what I least look forward to about being a lawyer!"
If the fact that this stuff is going down isn't enough of a prompt, there is also the comment quoted below, which was tacked onto some thread from two years ago:
Anonymous said...
Can we get a confirmation whether or not clerks for federal judges are required to pass a drug test prior to employment?
8/18/2008 1:33 PM
Nice research skills, Anon, but, er, yeah. Two years. These threads may whine, but they hardly age that way. My uneducated belief, for whatever it is worth, is that the last thing a clan of mail-mergers and period-proofers should have to worry about is a little plastic cup. I mean, even if you fail the test you still have unparalleled abilities to mail-merge and period-proof! What really counts here??
But that's just me. It's still a fair question.
Labels: Kevin Smith
posted by Patrick Bageant at 10:52 PM
14 Comments:
Personalized cover letters? Yay or nay?
I wouldn't worry about personalizing. It's probably better if they just say this:
Dear Judge,
I'd like to clerk for you. Please hire me... etc.
Someone really decided to put on their thinking cap, great going! It’s fantastic to see people really writing about the important things
Drug test: not in my experience (2 federal clerkships), nor have I heard that from any other federal clerk. Fingerprinting is required.
Personalize cover letter: by all means, if you can find a good way to do it. E.g. mention a case by that Judge that you've read, or give a reason you want to live in that Judge's city/state. Going through applications, we deduct a point if an app has the look of a mass-mailing. But on the other hand, saying too much can be a disaster. Keep it short and germane.
Get your profs to call. That's the only thing that really matters, unless you're in the top 5%
Tests: No test for most clerkships, but:
1. If your court does any terrorism work (EDVa, the occasional case elsewhere), there may be extra background checking.
2. The federal courts are not a terribly pro-drug place. You take an oath to uphold the laws, etc., etc., and I believe most judges would be peeved if they discovered you toked up over the weekend.
Cover letters: Short and sweet, absent some genuine explanation for why clerking for that judge makes sense.
another clerkship related question - is it appropriate to give a token thank you gift to your recommenders? e.g. a book you think they might like?
or is that offensive?
nubie here!
I think a token gift is appropriate (though the thank you note is probably the more important part). Personally, I waited until after the clerkship process was over to do those thank yous.
I know this question drives Armen crazy, but given that I've reached 3L year still not understanding why Kevin Smith is the knickname for all this clerkship stuff can someone finally explain?
Token gift: no
Kevin Smith: google him
Better yet, netflix him. You'll be inspired to ask questions of your bf/gf.
Wow! Don't listen to Armen.
When you question your bf/gf, you'll instantly regret it. And I mean instantly. That is straight poison!
Kevin Smith = famous for the movie "Clerks." Don't feel bad. I didn't get it immediately either.
I agree with Patrick.
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